Quiet on the Sidelines

“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all!”  I grew up playing sports. I remember how exciting it was to hear fans cheering for us, but I also remember the embarrassment when a father was asked to leave the game for screaming insults at the referee. Spectators believe it’s their prerogative to criticize the referees, the coaches or the players. Why can’t everyone just sit quietly on the sidelines until someone scores?

I understand that a great game of basketball; one that’s close in score, with an abundance of foul calls, can cause adrenaline to flow in spectators. The need to show support for the team, to encourage your child, or to voice your opinion can overwhelm even the shyest mother. I have been known to holler many chants of “de-fense” and “let’s go...” but I make sure to clap for any player who can shoot a three pointer, regardless of the team.

I naively think that some parents lay blame with the refereeing believing somehow it’ll make a loss sound better. After all, it must be “the stupid referees fault we lost by 45 points”, it can’t be because the best player fouled out or the lack of rebounding.  I will admit that I’ve seen my share of bad calls. The referees are not siding with the opposition; they are just doing their job, albeit a difficult one.  

I think it’s wonderful to see parents sitting in the stands cheering for their child’s team. In todays busy world it can seem impossible to find time for teenage sports, even your own child.  Parents of athletes will tell you they are proud and supportive to their child and love to watch the game. Yet, “Run faster!” and “What kind of pass was that?” are the comments I hear while sitting on the sidelines at the local junior high game.  These unhelpful comments are demeaning to the players and make other parents feel uncomfortable. It doesn’t matter if you’re hollering at your own child, it’s damaging their self-esteem.  This is the reason many schools find it necessary to have parents and players sign a code-of-conduct agreement at the start of the season.

It’s incredibly awkward to sit and listen to a parent complain that the coach never plays their child. This disrespectful and unappreciative chatter from parents who show very little commitment to the team, are the same parents who demand more of the coaches so their child can improve.  I know many parents feel the coach picks favourites. I know equal opportunity would benefit all players, however we live in a world where not everyone wins. If the coach feels certain players need to be on the court longer, trust his instincts. After all, I don’t see you putting in volunteer hours on the sidelines to get hollered at by unappreciative parents.

So next time you shout from the bleachers, think about how you would feel if you heard someone yell at your child.  Next time a referee makes a call you don’t agree with, try cheering words of encouragement to the team, don’t give the officials attention, after all you are there to watch the players. When the season is over remember to thank the coach. Recognize that it is the hard work, dedication, and passion that coaches provide, that will encourage your child to fall in love with sports. Who knows maybe one day your child will become a coach, or heaven help you, a referee.  Until then, sit on the bleachers and be a positive and enthusiastic cheerleader for all young athletes.